


One minute there, then she was gone

by LongLiveRebellion_and_roses



Category: Star vs. The Forces Of Evil
Genre: Angst, Crying, Depression, F/M, I'm so sorry, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Janna is a good friend, Longing, Marco reacts to Star leaving, Me Projecting my feelings onto my characters, Mental Breakdown, One Shot, Self-Harm, Spoilers for Season 2 finale, Typed this up to escape my responsibilities, starco, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-07
Updated: 2017-03-07
Packaged: 2018-09-30 11:26:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,261
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10162109
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LongLiveRebellion_and_roses/pseuds/LongLiveRebellion_and_roses
Summary: Marco always thought they would get more time together, he had never in his wildest dreams thought she would leave him alone in a world without her...





	

**Author's Note:**

> Heya guys, I've been feeling all sorts of crazy since the season finale so I wrote this up to deal with those pesky emotions. The whole thing was written in about an hour so there are probably all sorts of misplaced verbiages and grammaticals. Sorry in advance for the horrific dialogue, it's not my strong suit!

Marco stared into the empty room, the last of Star’s magical removal spell clearing away every shred of her existence here on Earth. He stared and stared and stared, didn’t even look at Jackie when she came up behind him, he stood there rigid as his parents filed past and did a double take at the room. It stayed that way to him for a long time, The Room, a place full of bad memories. Life went on off course, sans Star, Marco went back to school the next week, sat in the same chair, went to the same classes, but something was wrong. Everyone felt it, Jackie, Janna, his parents, even Miss. Skullnick noticed something was off about the boy. He walked with an air of loss, an air of despair. People old themselves that it would go away, that Marco would get past this, that he would go back to normal. He had to right? Marco was  _ Marco _ for heaven’s sake, he was the strong one, the one that always had a plan. Except, he didn’t, and people stopped expecting him too. 

It took months, but eventually people stopped talking to him, teachers stopped asking why his scores had gone from all A’s to B’s and C’s. Marco’s friends stayed with him as long as they could, Ferguson and Alfonso weren’t there as often but they stayed in touch, Janna didn’t talk to Marco much at school, but people always noticed that she was always there, in the background. Jackie… Jackie was the last, she let him down easy, told him that she couldn’t stand to see him sad, that he had changed when Star had left. It broke Jackie’s heart to see how little that affected him, how he had just stared at her with those haunted eyes, the way he had calmly accepted it without tears, without a hint of the sadness that she thought she saw swirling in his heart. She tried to stay close, kept in touch with Janna at school, but it was just so hard to be around him without remembering how happy he had once been, how he had once been the entire world to so many people. 

Marco tried so hard to make it through the days with a smile on his face, and sometimes he even felt like he was back to normal, the days he hung out with Alfonso and Ferguson and they laughed and joked and played games. But always he would go home, he would walk past The Room, and it would all disappear, every happy thought, every smile, would leave him and he would collapse, he would stare at the walls in his room as they closed around him. It was just so hard, he told himself, not to think about her smile, think about the way her mouth would twirk up when she smiled at another stupid plan of hers, how her happiness had been so warm, and how they had always known what the other was thinking.

“Apparently not always,” Marco said to himself, turning around on his bed while he ignored his homework once again, “apparently Star had kept something to herself, that she…” he trailed off into thought, staring at hands he walked to his dresser and pulled out the small box at the bottom. He hadn’t told anyone about the box, had kept it secret from everyone, well everyone except Janna, but once she had seen what was inside she had promised never to tell, and while they had sometimes been on rocky ground, Marco was sure she was being serious. Pulling off the top of the box he stared inside at the scissors that lay there. It had been the scissors that he had first rushed to when he had awoken from his shock, the scissors that he had frantically slashed through the air when Star had left, the scissors that had done nothing. It was then, after what had felt like hours of cutting air to no avail, after what had felt like hours laying on the ground crying his eyes out, that Janna had found him. She hadn’t said anything, just sat next to him and messed with his hair, sat with him in his grief.

Bringing the scissors to face height he stared at himself in the reflection, stared at his soulless eyes, at the way his smile failed to reach the sides of his mouth, and stared at the way the scissors glinted, the way their sharpness seemed to press against the air. He had told himself only once, that he still remembered what emotions felt like. But looking around he couldn’t bring himself to remember, “couldn’t? Or didn’t want to,” He thought to himself, bringing the scissors down to his wrist, he felt the blade touch softly against his skin, right across where the old scars were. Marco held the scissors there, sharp edge against his skin, as he breathed in and out. With a soft scream he lifted the scissors and threw them across the room, pulling his arm back up to his body he rocked back and forth, trying to control the tears that flooded down his face. 

“Why did she go why did she go why did she leave me why why why,” he asked to the air, his voice catching as his nose started to run. Marco rocked back and forth, sobbing, he tried to calm himself down, tried to whisper calming random notes to himself, eventually he stopped rocking, eventually his tears stopped and his nose stopped running, eventually the dark thoughts stopped rushing around. Looking up Marco realized the walls had gone back to normal, that his room was no longer closing in on him. Breathing carefully and calmly Marco walked over to where the scissors had fallen, picking them up he rushed over and dropped them in their box, closing the top he hid it away in his dresser. Marco couldn’t believe how close he had come, he couldn’t believe how much Star’s leaving had affected him.

“Why though,” He asked, his voice low and recovering from his breakdown, “why am I such a mess, I knew she would leave one day, it’s been months, why am I not getting over it?” Marco sat on the edge of his bed, his head in his hands, as he felt himself drain of the emotions, felt the emotionless shell close around him once again. He didn’t even lift his head as he heard the window open and Janna step inside.

“Go away Janna, I really don’t wanna talk right now, I don’t feel like it.” Hearing her step closer Marco sighed loudly, “God dammit Janna I told you to fu…” Her eyes shone like the sky, a pure blue that had an inner light, the sun glinted off her hair, the red headband bright against the golden flood, and the pink hearts on her cheeks lit up when she saw he had turned around. He saw the way her mouth shaped his name in her hello, and he knew he should feel happy, he knew he should do what he’d dreamed about, knew he should grab her cheeks and pull her in for a long slow kiss, the kind he’d wanted since they fought Toffee together, but instead all he felt was cold. He saw her eyes go wide, the light leave them as her smile dropped, he heard her mutter a quick, “What’s wrong Marco?” before he jumped away from her. Spinning around he rushed out of the room.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you guys so much for reading! I don't think there's really enough to warrant this getting anymore chapters, but smooches to you guys if you enjoyed it! It's all my angsty little heart could really write about right now... Anyway, y'all should go read something happier, it'll make you feel better. Well, either that or chocolate.


End file.
